music has charms to soothe a savage beast.: November 2006

hello all.

i'm in writcomm class now. mr sharpe is marking our paragraph outlines. and i am very sleepy. i got to class 10 minutes late. which is early. okay. 'early'.

i just went over to per's lappy to set up limewire for her. like. yeah. lol.

and sarah said my hair's poofy today. poofy back, i like.

its been hell the last few days.

i was up on tuesday night till 4 something, doing preparation for the thousand-word essay i had to do later, on wednesday. ended up not doing much preparation. just read through.

went to class and stormed the essay out. only reached 806 words i think. yeah. with many quotes. LOL.

die lah. i rushed it out. ha.

then wednesday.

i went home after 1000words. got swimming gear and went to yishun SAFRA with mona darling to swim. at 8pm. yes. madness. i think my swimming techniques are wrong. i can't swim 2 laps without my thighs starting to burn.

i think land suits me better. hahah.

got homeee. did paragraph outlines till. what. 330am?

so now i'm stoning in writcomm. mr sharpe should be done marking soon.

i just remembered i have a social psychology class test/quiz later.

%&#*

haven't studied. lol i bet i will failzor.

jabez just asked me the difference between an adaptor and self-adaptor.

lol so i read the text.

adaptor: satisfying a personal need.
self-adaptor: touching oneself (for no particular reason, because if there's a reason , then there's a need, which makes it an adaptor. =/)

its not like agnes is comprehensible. when she talks i don't comprehend what she says. like. the difference between a shitty flute tone and a colourful one. you don't want to remember how the shitty one sounds like. not worth remembering.

okay i'm ranting.

see you!

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 11:58 AM

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i want to play fate of the gods. yes i do. i like the flute solos. =/

mess of thoughts up there. i've got stuff to do tomorrow and like.

grwahahajifjaisfja.

i dunno lah.

alumni today. headache. noise.

i felt like i was attending like. acjc band tune in or something. freaking headache.

which meant i couldn't sightread properly. yeah.

not to mention, the stupid pieces all syncopation and the notes had ~~hilly~~ MOUNTAINOUS contours.

i feel very very mentally sick.

something wrong up there. very very wrong. don't know what. but i guess i'll be better after sleeping.

which i will do now.

i want that fate of the gods solo.

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 2:53 AM

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what a week its been.

horrible lah.

i mean like, on tuesday, my laptop refused to turn on. yes. it spoilt. AGAIN. bloody hell. my mom apparently called and made noise to the resellers. they said they were gonna write in to Apple and make noise. and my mom's supposed to write in as well. BUTTTT.

my mom's like 'oh e-wen since you're in mass comm, why don't you use this opportunity to-'

and i cut in, like. 'OKAY OKAY OKAY.'

lol. not that she's wrong though. hahh.

i hope i get a new lappy for free. lol. fat hopes i have.

anyhow, without my ibook, it was freaking inconvenient. for example, i couldn't get my work done properly. and i couldn't copy notes on the spot.

but managed to get through social psychology assessed tutorial. i didn't really get to do much, so. yeah. i don't like freeloading though. =/

thenthenthen. i had radio assignment due on friday. mona had her social psyc presentation on friday. so she came over on thursday night and we did work. i think i slept most of it away though. lolll. okay i shouldn't have, but i was freaking tired.

managed to finish the assignment on my desktop. printed it and went to school. reach class. NBCB. like everything wrong. i had to redo on the spot, run all the way down the hill to the library, print for EVERYONE, then run up to class again. fuck. lol.

oh well.

end of mayhem.

i'm feeling blurishly stoned now. a horrible feeling that arises from the lack of sleep.

and i'm wondering now, how come my life is like a drama serial?

or maybe, why do drama serials depict my life?

anyhow, i hate it.

as much as i hate seeing you do whatever you're doing, i cannot leave.

i don't want to, and i cannot.

its really emotionally taxing on my part, and sometimes, its really hard to block it all out.

not to mention, i don't know what to do, nor do i know how to help you.

fuck all this.

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 12:13 AM

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so you say i matter.

now, do i really?

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 3:26 AM

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so here i am at mona's.

she's asleep on a mattress on the floor.
singyi's asleep on the bed behind me.
steve's on the other side of the bed, playing some songs on mona's lappy.

and i'm at the table. blogging.

many thoughts bouncing off the inside of my skull.

i think i'm just on mental overload.

i think after all, maybe i only matter that much.

shambles, really.

my heart's doing a timmy.

and i'm doing all i can to stop it.

and circumstances aren't helping a bit.

but its all me. selfish me. what i want, if i don't get, then toss a tantrum. yeah childish. i wish i didn't exist. really. really. screwed up.

me, i mean. yes i am.

i want to cry.

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 2:05 AM

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totally unrelated,

i think i must start practicing flute again.

i damn well need to. fuck. when will i ever get that kind of SIMPLE tone i hear on tv now?

sadly, i guess simple things come hard.

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 3:10 AM

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hello!

letseeee. today's lectures were draggy, but i tried my best to listen. (falling asleep during socpsyc helped my awareness level later on, i must admit...)

bloody hell. mona and i dumped our bags in lecture hall, went out to buy stuff, came back to find the door locked, with a QUIZ going on. nbcb.

oh well. after school, went arab street for some shisha and lots of talk. its fun to talk to my classmates, i realised. damn fun. hahah. and i bought a shirt. i shall wear it to school soon.

i suddenly see a lot of people being down in the dirt emotionally. like. suddenly. why ah? why, when i'm up, everyone's down and vice versa? blah.

well. cheer up people.

if you think you're being played, make the person fuck off. you shouldn't be on the suffering end.

unless you started it first, i guess.

i've been having very selfish thoughts. if i'm allowed to do things like going clubbing and smoking(aye, i stopped buying. its almost = stopping), why can't loved ones do things with their life without me feeling negatively affected?

my face; a facade. feigning feelings.

well maybe... cause i don't want people to go like 'what?! you LET him/her do it?! HOW CAN?!'

or maybe. maybe i'm just plain selfish.

on another note.

i think asking me when i'm free for the sake of it is a horrible thing to do. it brings my hopes up, and sends it crashing down when you do things like leaving me on the outside.

again. i think. over-sensitive. hahh nevermind.

or maybe i'm really not meant to have real friends.

forged signatures
forged friendships

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 2:26 AM

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ho ho.

i haven't blogged for forever.

well i'll just recall whatever's been happening from the top of my mind.

umm.. lets see! mona and i just celebrated our first month together. i know its only a month, but mona says its special to her cause she never kept anniversaries before. the months aren't important to me.

the 27ths are more important.

mona, you're just wonderful k. really wonderful. wonderful-est. =)

mm. well i don't really remember anything that's been happening that's really that important.

so. uh. yeah.

except friday night! which was nicole's birthday @ club home. indie is good to jump to! good exercise.

though i think there are better forms of exercise...

happy birthday nic! one more year to legality! =)

well nothing else, except that i'm really tired. hahah.

tomorrow's already monday. goodness.

byebye!

sorry, i suck at graphics communication and photoshop.

I TRIED MY BEST.

it just gets better.

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 7:23 PM

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tomorrow's guy fawkes day.

heh.

and qoo's sitting beside me. staring at me using the comp. and was watching me play cs. hmm. cute.

ooh. he closed his eyes. QOO DON'T PRETEND TO SLEEP!

AH-HA i saw it. he open then when i look he close again.

HAHA.

anyhows.

thanks to everyone who's been showing concern eh! love all! =)

been a tiring week.

i don't know what's wrong with me. sleep 6 hours, wake up sleepy. sleep 12 hours, wake up sleepy also. 8 hours? just as sleepy. aiyah.

i must be dying soon.

AAAWWWWWW. no more timmmyyyy.

to everyone who's having problems in their lives now, take care and be strong k! you'll pull through!

yes. better talk to me while i'm happy ah.

later no chance already. lol.

goodnight!

teh-flautist. ewenn @ 2:04 AM

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